A world of dollhouses.
Transcript
Talita: I’ve spent my whole life adapting to fit into spaces that weren’t built for me.
Draft plans for human scale buildings appear in white lines floating in a black void behind her head.
Talita: It’s hard to think about my body as something other than… A problem.
The apartment dimensions appear in sketchy white lines, surrounding Talita's huge, hunched figure like a tiny box.
Talita: I prefer it when it’s only my problem. But… In this case, I guess there’s no way to make it NOT your problem.
Gillie looks up from her phone transcript to Talita's face, pensive.
51 thoughts on “Runaway to the Stars: Page 181”
Jonny
Wow. This one really hit home.
this is such a spectacular comic! I’m in my feels right now but I love so much about this. the direction and topics its tackling and the AMAZING worldbuilding, it’s so solid and awesome. Like really, I’m in awe of this work of art.
Nuke
As a fat disabled person, this was relatable enough to make me tear up. My body’s in the way, I have inconvenient needs, there’s assumptions about how my weight and conditions are interconnected swirling around me anytime I’m around others. Bringing up a need, like using the scooters at a store on a bad pain/back day, feels humiliating, and just makes me feel more in the way, so it often seems easier to limit the damage to just myself, and not everyone around me.
Lirleni / Vik-Thor
https://diasp.eu/posts/629f5b403b48013ed545101b0efced44
I hope the link come through well. If not, I will try to find the original clip. This popped up on my husband’s Mastodon feed. Perfectly illustrates how I think Talita feels on a normal day. Especially how the ppl who are actually walking around are bent over, which is how we see Talita in human sized spaces mostly… The fact that she is normally a quadreped, and can use her arms for locomotion (unlike humans), obscures the issues a bit, but…
Sylan Mystra
Gillie’s face in the last panel absolutely seems like the face of someone determined to make it Not A Problem
>o
<333
MyUniverseinaBox
oof
I love the issues this comic is tackling. It’s about aliens n all but like this is oddly relatable. I have anaphylaxis to nuts which doesn’t sound terrible but 1. I think I’ve developed some baaad anxiety around it, and 2. It makes social outings when food is involved… hard.
I will often just bring my own food to avoid feeling like a burden to other ppl. EVEN if they insist on accommodating, I just don’t like the feeling of being accommodated for. I don’t want other ppl to even think about it, especially when I might turn around and decline what solutions they give me anyway, or ask a million questions, and probably just freak out and unintentionally make a scene about it. Last time I went out with some folks for dinner, and I didn’t have my own food, we went through 3 different restaurants before settling on one that was safe for me. They insisted on catering to me which was very nice, but I just felt kind of awful anyway, and after I ate there I felt like I was going to vomit. I thought that meant I was possibly having a reaction – I wasn’t, it was just anxiety. I didn’t let the people I was with know about it.
So.. yeah. I dunno. Oddly relatable, and I think that’s brilliant 👍
SheTheTDE
Seeking to change yourself to fit in is one way, seeking a place where you already fit in is another, or you could do like me an change the things that do make you the same until you no longer care about fitting in or being accepted because every espect of you is you. But I had the same problems. Everything seems too small for me and everyone thinks I’m some scary monster person. The only people I can find to date WANT me to be a scary monster person.
Ruby
Oh yeah. That feeling of “my life would be perfect if I were the only one dealing with myself”. Crazy how deep pain makes you desperate to divorce yourself from the world.
Stray Cat
“I prefer it when it’s only my problem” – that part in particular, ouch. I know multiple people who keep quiet about their problems – such as, relevant here, having disabilities that aren’t being accommodated – because they “don’t want to be a burden.” One could practically write an essay on the factors that lead into that mindset. Either way, it’s a difficult mindset to get out of.
.
Judging by that look on Gillie’s face in the last panel, she can understand this part of Talita’s struggles – being in a world that wasn’t made for you. Gillie could understand better than anyone else on Dirtball. And someone who understands is what Talita needs right now.
Vinemaple
No notes. 10/10. Can’t wait for Saturday.
Aury
From the audience perspective of having seen Talita all the time, this may not be a huge surprise for those who know similar things.
Filiya
And one more thing that’s been bothering me. Judging by my avatar, I’m a green bright. But since I don’t live on some fancy artificial island, I’m clearly not from the royal family. Will my green mutation be popular with the duns? If so, it should start spreading. Will the The Dominion of Tiiliit authorities be okay with that?
LilyDreemur77
I love how your mind works
Vinemaple
I guess I’m some kind of nekkid weirdo, then. I can live with that.
blythe
Tiiliit will disappear you for your heretical claims
Adrienne
Supposedly I’m blue. Not really a color where I’m from but okay
Enai
Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean the shrimp colours aren’t there!
A Box Of Fox
Says the shrimp!
Enai
Yes, of course! I can see blue just fine, as well as a range of other colours you cannot even fathom :-p
…
Umm. Why is the beak on this emoji so round, anyway?
Adrienne
Unfortunately mantis shrimp can’t actually see more colors than we can, but I still like calling them “shrimp colors” myself
JoB
> Unfortunately mantis shrimp can’t actually see more colors than we can
·
Umh, you sure … ?
HAL9000
we should start a green alien group. random genetic colour freaks unite! as the great master wu said, your elemental power is… green.
hurgaburga
as the author themselves said in a previous page, talitas upbringing was a miracle for her physical health for a centaur being raised in a non centaur society (as in shes actually alive and not cripplingly ill).
…not so much for her mental health though
hurgaburga
oop i meant to reply to someone else
hessian
green gang 4 life #myfreaks #gleebledeeble👽
JoB
Guess what, I’m giving you a green light for this. 😛
Enai
Now I’m feeling all blue m(
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Daba-dee daba-dai
Joysweeper
this makes me imagine really pointless avian internet wars about green avatars. trying to borrow authority, stealing valor, “it’s okay as long as it’s stylized enough” etc
Marcie
With the amount of aliens that can’t see blue/green very well, I gotta imagine that there’s been a few diplomatic incidents over the years.
Jay Eaton
Wrong color of green for the Tiiliit. This color is associated with lower tier royalty. Not illegal to use in self representation in the Dominion of Tiiliit but considered tacky and dishonest if you aren’t actually royalty.
Enai
What if they aren’t actually royalty but actually that color? Will they be adopted by royalty? Maybe executed for being a threat to the feudal (?) system?
Marcie
Yet another reason for Tiiliitians to not like Bug Ferrets
Enai
You know, the more I think about your question, the more I’m tempted to say: Organise your own cult! Be the Anti-Tiiliit this universe deserves and schism from the dominion! Maybe you’ll generate enough drama to inspire a Bug Ferret soap opera.
gigithebear
oooooo talita, gillie is about to relate to your experiences so hard you dont even KNOW. get seen and understood by someone who also struggles to exist in normal society
Filiya
I wonder how much it would have helped if Talita hadn’t been the only centaur integrated into human culture in her surroundings? It seems to me that if she had a few more colleagues dealing with the same issue, it might have eased the stress a little. Sirawit were raised by humans, if I remember correctly, but they could also communicate with birds—and it seems they don’t have such a pronounced problem with dysphoria.
eden
he did grow up in a joint human-avian tunnel city! at least from what I remember
Septemberdale
I wonder if Avians would be offended by you calling them “birds”. On one hand, “Avians” just means “birds” anyway, but on the other, the connotations have greatly diverged, and additionally Avians seem to generally get offended pretty easily.
HAL9000
i think its just their translator picking a synonym. avian means bird anyway and i’m sure to an in-universe avian translator the same thing would occur so i doubt they’d care.
Phasma Felis
I think it would depend mainly on whether or not “birds” is a common slur.
boxesofboxes
I mean, is calling human’s ‘apes’ a slur? sometimes, sure, but not always.
un_pogaz
Damn. Definitely, this choice of words will resonate strongly with Gillie.
Kaittzie
Gotta wonder if moving into the centaur sized barracks Mel may or may not be building for the next temps could help with this …
Tal has me tearing up, she really nailed it. I’m rather too big for my own world, and it’s humiliating to admit I don’t fit into spaces made for the ideal human frame. I only recently realized I don’t have to be trans to be dysphoric.
Adrienne
Being Deaf, being trans, being an off-model catgirl… I think Gillie knows better than most humans what Talita is feeling. I can’t wait to see what she says next 👀
Filiya
I don’t have dysphoria, but I can understand that constant pressure of not fitting in, like the whole world was made for people who aren’t you. When you’re in that state all the time, and it shows itself in every little thing, it weighs on your self-esteem and can break you. Even the fact that I’m writing this comment through a translator, while most of my peers managed to learn English, is an unpleasant reminder of my weakness.
BearBeerBear
I shake hands with the translator, sometimes I feel ashamed that everyone can speak and write calmly, while I am still terrible at remembering how to correctly write tenses or grammar.
Filiya
Not sure if this Chinese AI has hands, but I’ll pass along that it’s doing great!
0xabad1dea
I’m that that the machine translation works well enough that you can be here and share your perspective with us.
0xabad1dea
how embarrassing, I accidentally skipped the word “glad”. I was trying to say that I am GLAD the machine translation works so well!
Enai
Impressive translator! There’s not a single word out of place, at least to my (German) eyes.
BasilGryphon
“It’s hard to think of my body as something other than a problem” hits like a ton of bricks oh god, just fabulous character writing. I’m sure Talita’s experience of this will have been different to others’ but parts of this are so relatable; I feel you, girl <3
ShellBell
awwww. :-[